So I haven't been on here in quite a while. I'd apologise if I felt I had anyone to apologise to. Of course this has only really been a sort of place of therapy and introspection for me rather than the broad social platform it seems to be for other people. Generally, writing down my thoughts helps me prioritise them and allows me to think about them in a clearer and perhaps more organised way. Boy do I have a lot of thoughts to prioritise.
As always, i've been thinking about who I am and what my place is in the world. At the moment it seems to be in a state of perpetual unemployment and living at my mom's house. I figure i have about two more years before it gets weird. Girls are lucky, they don't have to worry as much, they can live with heir parents for as long as they need to. Guys are different. Society tells us it's weird for us to stay in a family environment for too long. Unfortunately, with the economic and housing climate as it is, Many of us are probably going to have to house up with friends/family before having a place of our own. I wondered why we need 'places of our own' and realised that its all part of the human experience. By living on our own we learn more about how we function, we learn if we want company or are happier alone. All of this, a home, getting a job, getting a family, our aspirations. All of them are just steps we take towards understanding the self and, eventually, finding personal contentment with the universe. We start off as children, exposed to the wonders of a new world. As we age the wonders decrease and we look internally to the wonders provided by a maturing personality.
A monk came up to me yesterday and offered me a book about Krsna for a small donation. I gave him £6. I found the book tedious to say the least. Replace the word 'Krsna' with 'Christ' and it all becomes another Abrahamic religion cloaked in eastern and Buddhist philosophy. Call me a heretic but something about mono-deistic religions make my skin crawl. Just the idea that you have to 'love [name] and devote your entire life to their worship'. A fundamental problem I have with this is that the more I look at the world. the more convinced I am that there isn't a God, or if there is, he/she/it is ambivalent towards us at best.
I have friends who would be worried by this, who would hope that I 'come around' to their way of thinking, and accept 'God' into my heart. In this I feel like they miss a vital point. To them their God is goodness, love in it's purest form. My friends only want for me to be happy and content with my life and what comes after. I say 'what does it matter that i should love deity 'x' so long as i still feel love' and I do, I feel love (which i may break down into compassion, empathy, charity etc) towards everyone I meet, I try to love the good and pity the bad. My search is more for self-enlightenment and to know my place in the 'grand scheme of things' than anything else. I want to know who I am, and I grow tired with the people that tell me the best way to do that is do think exactly as they do.
I guess, overall. I'm at a point in my life where I'm much happier asking the questions than I am hearing the answers. I've had many people give me many thoughts that they have felt is the 'one true answer' but none could give me satisfaction. All of them felt a certain lacking and i always thought 'is that it? there has to be more'. None could give me a satisfactory answer as to why they were right and so any others were wrong besides, essentially 'We got his name right'.
As always, i've been thinking about who I am and what my place is in the world. At the moment it seems to be in a state of perpetual unemployment and living at my mom's house. I figure i have about two more years before it gets weird. Girls are lucky, they don't have to worry as much, they can live with heir parents for as long as they need to. Guys are different. Society tells us it's weird for us to stay in a family environment for too long. Unfortunately, with the economic and housing climate as it is, Many of us are probably going to have to house up with friends/family before having a place of our own. I wondered why we need 'places of our own' and realised that its all part of the human experience. By living on our own we learn more about how we function, we learn if we want company or are happier alone. All of this, a home, getting a job, getting a family, our aspirations. All of them are just steps we take towards understanding the self and, eventually, finding personal contentment with the universe. We start off as children, exposed to the wonders of a new world. As we age the wonders decrease and we look internally to the wonders provided by a maturing personality.
A monk came up to me yesterday and offered me a book about Krsna for a small donation. I gave him £6. I found the book tedious to say the least. Replace the word 'Krsna' with 'Christ' and it all becomes another Abrahamic religion cloaked in eastern and Buddhist philosophy. Call me a heretic but something about mono-deistic religions make my skin crawl. Just the idea that you have to 'love [name] and devote your entire life to their worship'. A fundamental problem I have with this is that the more I look at the world. the more convinced I am that there isn't a God, or if there is, he/she/it is ambivalent towards us at best.
I have friends who would be worried by this, who would hope that I 'come around' to their way of thinking, and accept 'God' into my heart. In this I feel like they miss a vital point. To them their God is goodness, love in it's purest form. My friends only want for me to be happy and content with my life and what comes after. I say 'what does it matter that i should love deity 'x' so long as i still feel love' and I do, I feel love (which i may break down into compassion, empathy, charity etc) towards everyone I meet, I try to love the good and pity the bad. My search is more for self-enlightenment and to know my place in the 'grand scheme of things' than anything else. I want to know who I am, and I grow tired with the people that tell me the best way to do that is do think exactly as they do.
I guess, overall. I'm at a point in my life where I'm much happier asking the questions than I am hearing the answers. I've had many people give me many thoughts that they have felt is the 'one true answer' but none could give me satisfaction. All of them felt a certain lacking and i always thought 'is that it? there has to be more'. None could give me a satisfactory answer as to why they were right and so any others were wrong besides, essentially 'We got his name right'.
